Monday, August 20, 2012

Re/Bound Blog Tour with Michele Zurlo


Perspectiveson the Psychological Aspects of Impact Play in BDSM

            First let me say that I'm notan expert on psychology or impact play. What follows are just my thoughts andopinions on the topic. Some people might disagree with me, and that's fine.Everybody's entitled to their perspective, which brings me to my main point:Pain is all about perspective.

            It's commonly said (at leastit is in my circles) that pain is the brain's interpretation of a sensation.Everybody interprets it differently. When I stub my toe, bang my knee on thepull for my desk drawer, or walk into a doorframe (all of which happensentirely too often to me) I am the BIGGEST baby. I do the sharp inhale, squeezemy eyes shut, and depending on who's around, I might cry. If I can't cry, Ijust hold my breath until the pain passes. Which is funny because I know thatit passes a lot faster if I breathe through it.

           However, show me my favoriteflogger and I get weak for a different reason. I'll qualify here for those ofyou who've read Re/Bound -- I'm not a severe masochist. I have friends who are,one of whom answered a lot of questions for me about Painsluts, which is aspecial class of masochist. Now, I might not be anything approaching a Painslut,but I do love to be under our rubber flogger. It has round falls that can bandtogether or fan out, depending on the way it's swung, so it's very versatile. 

            The biggest sex organ, and Idon't care how well hung the hero is supposed to be, is the brain. Theinterpretation of pain is located there, but so is the interpretation ofpleasure. If you look at something and decide it's going to hurt, you've closedyour mind to the possibility of deriving pleasure from it. Similarly if youlook at something and decide it's going to heighten the experience, then itusually does. (I say "usually" because I have kids and pets. Younever know when they're going to derail a scene.) 

            Now that we've figured outthe determination aspect, let's talk about the mind games inherent in the D/srelationship. I think bondage best exemplifies this. The sub is tied down,unable to move, completely at the mercy of a trusted Dom/me. That Dom/me can doanything they want, and the sub can't stop them. (Well, that's not exactlytrue. The couple should have established the parameters of the scenebeforehand, and a safe word should be used. Ours is "Stop" because wedon't play protest games.)

            Some peoplefind the position of powerlessness completely arousing. In that state, they'remore open to impact play and they're more open to interpreting pain aspleasure. Also, a knowledgeable Dom/me will know 1) what they're doing and 2)your preferences. They'll probably start light and increase the force of theblows. 

            If you findthat concept scary, try this: Find a fleshy piece of your bare arm and hit itlightly with your palm. Increase the force until the sensation becomesunpleasant. If you're up for it, keep going for a little longer or try it againon the inner part of your arm or thigh (start lightly!) I bet it hurts yourpalm before it hurts your arm. After you've stopped and a few seconds pass,you'll notice heat rising to the skin. You might still feel the sting, but Ibet you're also feeling a little something else too. It's even better whenyou're just on the receiving end. Oh, and this works on any fleshy parts.Remember to not hit the places where the bone is close to the skin. 

            This kind of play also takesinto account your entire body. It's not a quickie focused on what's going onbetween everybody's legs with a kiss or grope thrown in for foreplay. BDSMconcentrates on the foreplay, which makes for much better orgasms. It preparesthe mind and the body, and I can't see anything unappealing about that!

            I know everybody is different.When I write my characters, I keep that in mind. You'll find that Darcy is theonly Painslut. The others like varying degrees of impact play. I include it inall of my BDSM titles because I really can't imagine doing a scene without it.In all of my books, I focus primarily on the development of the relationshipbetween the main characters. I want to show you the romantic side of a BDSMrelationship. After all, love heightens all experiences.

Places to find out more about my BDSM, paranormal, andmainstream titles: 

You can read our review HERE.

Michele is giving away a $5.00 giftcard at every stop. Please be sure to leave a comment for Michelle and follow her on the tour. Thank you and good luck!


Cecelia Jones said...

This book sounds positively amazing! I have always wondered why some people like pain. This is good insight. Thanks.

katsmeow said...

This book intrigues me. I've enjoyed other Michele Zurlo books and loved them. This will be joining my ever growing must read list.

bn100 said...

Interesting post.


Mandi Counterman said...

Thanks for the post!

June M. said...

I am very eager to read Re/Bound! It sounds like a great story. Although I don't live a BDSM lifestyle, I do greatly enjoy reading these stories. And if I find someone I can trust completely, I would definitely be willing to explore this with him, lol.
manning_j2004 at yahoo dot com

Carin said...

This book looks great! Thanks for sharing this so I can add it to my TBR list! Carin
mawmom at gmail dot com

Kelsey Summer said...

Re/Bound is on my list of TBR and has been since I first heard of it. It looks great. Thanks for the giveaway!

kesummer69 at gmail dot com


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