Jerk. Asshole. Douchenozzle. Admit it- you hate to love the jerks. That alpha male character who is so arrogant and rude but sexy as hell. That foul mouthed douche bag of a man who rocks your traitorous heart. We've all read them and we've all liked them to some extent. In real life you wouldn't touch the man with a ten foot pole. But in the fictional world? Nothing can stand in the way! Everyone would be lying to themselves if they didn't admit that the meaner the man, the further we run... Towards them! *sigh*
When author Claire Contreras told me her character Cole, a sportscaster from THERE IS NO LIGHT IN DARKNESS was interviewing Jack, a baseball player from THE PERFECT GAME, I was all like....
Seriously, I was just like that.No joke.
I mean, we're talking about some of the top Jerk of My Dreams here, and you know how I feel about those kind of heroes. I fell head over heels in love with Jack. He's a top shelf jerk- kind of like where the top best tasting Whiskey sits. And Cole is a deliciously sweet jerk sitting pretty close to Jack. It was the first time I had ever used those words together making Cole a very memorable hero for me.
Anyway, I asked where Claire was posting this interview, because I was damn sure going to read it. No way in hell was I missing it! And then she dropped the bomb on me that it was going to be on my blog...
I was screaming on the inside!!!!!! I was at work and had to keep quiet since I work with kids so I was looking around for someone, anyone, other than babies to share my excitement with. I was all like (to the babies and walls- hey, don't judge!)....
And all I could think of was two hot jerks, together, interviewing, and it being....
I look down at my watch andshake my head noticing that the interview should be starting right now. Mitchthe camera man is still setting up and Jack Carter hasn’t arrived. So much forgetting out of here quickly. I look over at Blake who’s sitting on the couchflipping through a magazine and hope that Jack brings his girl with him. If hedoes, Blake won’t ogle him as much. She thinks I don’t notice her staring athis ass every time he’s up to bat. And what the fuck was up with her asking forhis jersey for Christmas? She doesn’t even like New York!
Finally the door opens and JackCarter strides in looking all dapper and shit, and Blake is suddenly fidgetingwith the magazine in her hand, dropping it twice before she sets it down andstraight stares at Jack. I roll my eyes and shake my head before I glare ather. At least she has the decency to look embarrassed. I extend my hand out toJack.
Cole: Mr. Carter, welcome tothe studio. Thanks for doing this interview with us.
Jack: Sure thing man. Sorry I'm late. Traffic was a bitchand I have a new driver.
“Yeah, one thing I don’t missis New York traffic,” I say with the shake of my head. A hot blonde make herway beside him and immediately recognize her as his fiancé, Cassie. She looksdazed and her lips are swollen as I greet her, I look back at Jack and shake myhead when he smirks at me. Yeah, traffic my ass.
We sit down in the two chairsprovided for us and small talk as we wait for the crew to finish positioning usand the cameras. Taryn comes in with two microphones for our jackets and looksat us expectantly. Jack and I stop talking and shoot her a confused look.
Taryn: You know the drill, takeyour clothes, er, unbutton your shirts and let me put this on you.
Cole: I have never taken off myclothes for microphones before.
Taryn: Oh, Ummm...this is ah...a new...High Definition Microphone that picks up on everything without it being seen. It makes you guys, ah, look more comfortable and casual. I just have to place it over your very sculp...er, pectorals. Then I'm going to run it down the center of your stomach and hook it to your pants.
Jack and I exchange a confused look before we shrug and get up to slide our jackets off. Cassie and Blake are both laughing at us and enjoying our discomfort as Taryn takes her time feeling up on each of us. I swear this bitch is always looking for an excuse to touch me. When she’s finally done, we take a seat again and the cameras start rolling.
Cole: This man right here needs no introduction, but just in case you’ve been living under a rock. I’m here with Jack Carter, the hottest pitcher in baseball right now. Jack, thank youfor taking some time to visit Inside the Locker Room.
Jack: Thanks for having me.It’s good to be here.
Cole: Your team is in secondplace in the NL East right now and you've been a big part of that. What's beenthe difference this year that you guys have been able to have that level ofsuccess?
Jack: Our pitching is really consistent, our defensive is top notch and our bats are on fire. We’re really gelling as a team and it shows on the field.
Cole: You're featured in this month's GQ magazine, your face is in Times Square, how have you been able to balance the demands of being a star in the NY spot light while still maintaining such a high level of success on the field?
Jack:Baseball is my career and that’s where my focus lies. I wouldn’t have any ofthat other stuff if I sucked on the field, so I know what’s important and whatisn’t. I think growing up in LA helps with whole limelight factor as well. It’snot as shocking.
Cole:I know how difficult having your life exposed for the world to see can be. Ifyou could go back, would you change any of the mistakes you made early on inyour career or do you take them as a learning experience?
Jack:Oh that’s an easy one and a tough one. There is definitely something I’d liketo take back and wish never happened, but the truth is, it didn’t end upaffecting my career. I’ve always been really focused when it comes to baseball.Other areas of my life could sometimes use the help.
Thecamera stops rolling and Mitch, the camera man says he needs a short break tofix lighting. I look over at Cassie and Blake who are engrossed inconversation, laughing. When Blake feels my eyes on her she looks at me andexcuses herself to come over to me. She goes over to Jack and says hi to himand I feel my jaw clenching at the coloring in her cheeks. I can’t fuckingbelieve this guy has her all flustered and shit.
“Isthere something you need?” I ask Blake with a raised eyebrow.
“Actually,I wanted to see if you would ask a question for the ladies, you know, sinceJack has a lot of female fans?” Blake asks biting her lip.
Jackcocks an eyebrow and looks at Cassie who is on her phone, but signals him toanswer the question Blake wants to ask. Apparently she’s in on it, and the factthat Blake asked this guy’s fiancé for permission tells me I’m not going tolike this question one bit.
Iexhale sharply. “What do you want to ask, Blake?”
“It’snot me! It’s for the ladies!” she says with a laugh before turning to faceJack. “Jack, we all heard about the quarters, which is so cute, by the way.” Igroan making Blake roll her eyes at me before continuing. “Anyway, how big isyour piggy bank now?”
Jack: *laughing* It’s fuckinghuge. I don’t spend quarters anymore. I never will again. I save them all.They’re my most valuable currency.
Jack looks over at Cassie andwinks.
Blake beams at him and walksover to me giving me a kiss and thanking me when Mitch tells us we’re ready toroll again.
“Sorry about that, Jack. Maybewe should have stayed rolling the tape to catch that answer on camera,” I saywith a laugh. “Last question, do you have a theme song or anything you listento before your games and what is it?”
Jack: I plug into my Ipod toget focused and pumped up before each game I start. I like a lot of differentstuff, So one day it might be something from The Mighty Storm, or the D-Bags toJay-Z, Eminem, Linkin Park. It all depends on my mood.
Cole: Those are some goodchoices! Thanks again for taking the time to visit Inside the Locker Roomtoday. We’ll be looking out for you and hope to see you at the All Star Gamethis year.
Jack smiles, shakes Cole’s handand they chat behind the music playing as the credits roll.
“We should do lunch one day orgo get some drinks,” I say to Jack as I shake his hand after the interview isover.
Cassie: I already got Blake’snumber, so we’ll plan something. Right, Blake?
She shouts over at Blake, whois busy texting someone on her cell phone.
Jack: Absolutely man. With ourwithout the ladies.
Jack smirks toward Cassie whojuts out her bottom lip in a pout.
Cassie: Hey! No fair.
Jack: Let me know if you wanttickets to a game and I’ll hook you and your girl up.
Cole: Sure thing. I’ll let youknow when I’m back in town.
Blake: *jumps up and down* YES!*clears throat* um, yes, I am so down to go to a game and we definitely need toget together, Cassie.
I laugh as I shake my head andmake a mental note to hide Blake’s Jack Carter jersey as soon as we get home.
And that my friends, is how it's done.