Review: Seductions and Snacks by Tara Sivec

To sum it up: Claire is a twenty-something, single mom that grudgingly helps her best friend sell sex toys while she attempts to make enough money to start her own business to give her foul-mouthed, but extremely loveable (when he's asleep) toddler a better life. 

When Carter, the one-night-stand from her past that changed her life forever, shows up in her hometown bar without any recollection of her besides her unique chocolate scent, Claire will make it a point that he remembers her this time. 

With Carter's undisguised shock at suddenly finding out he has a four-year-old son and Claire's panic that her stretch marks and slim to none bedroom experience will send the man of her dreams heading for the hills, the pair will do whatever they can to get their happily ever after...


Funniest.
Book.
Ever.

That isn’t an understatement- I can’t even count the number of times I just completely busted out laughing while reading Seduction and Snacks. Whether it be while I was reading my kindle and soaking in the tub… lying in bed and only reading “one more chapter”… or while I was sneaking a few pages here and there on my iPhone at work when management wasn’t around. It didn’t matter where I was at the time or how much embarrassment came from my unflattering snorts and laughs- they just didn’t stop from the first page to the last. 

And Hallelujah! I can’t believe the day has finally come where I officially added a humorous book to my “favorites” shelf!

That’s right, you heard me… I’m well aware of the fact that I’m probably the only avid romance reader on the face of this earth who avoids humorous chick-flick novels like the plague. The second I read the words ”light” and ”funny” affiliated with any book review, I run for the hills… and then add that book to my “I’d-Rather-Poke-My-Eyes-Out-Walk-Through-Fire-And-Sell-My-Kid-Before-Ever-Reading-This-Book” list. So I’m sure you can see that it took a lot for me to convince myself to even contemplate reading this book… until I started seeing my GR news-feed flooded with rants and ravings about how amazingly funny this story was… and then I found out it was on sale for $2.99 on Amazon… which I took as a sign to buy it, of course.

And.
I.
Hit.
The.
Freaking.
Jackpot.
People.

I can see where this book can come off as very crude and offensive to a lot of readers out there- but either I’m one sarcastic and insensitive sociopath that you’d probably never want your kids around… or I just have a disgusting sense of humor… or both… Whatever the reason, all I can say is that I freaking LOVEDevery single vulgar and inappropriate thing that came out of these characters mouths.

Claire was a freaking trip, and probably a favorite heroine of mine to this day- The second she told us readers that she was never going to have children, I decided that we were BFF’s for life. After all, my name is: Alyssa E. Neverhavingkids. (Watch me wake up seven months pregnant tomorrow.) Anyway, I’m getting off track here… so Claire has one snarky sense of humor! She holds nothing back, and deep down we may as well all admit that she’s the sarcastic she-devil we all have living inside us… but where-as we woman like to keep it classy… well... Ms. Claire-Just-Doesn’t-Care. She’s so real which is one reason why I love her and can relate to her so much.

Carter on the other hand… be right back… *swooning* …He may be a little more on the reserved side, but it’s one reason why him and Claire are so perfect for each other- they just balanced each other out and meshed so well. And Lord have mercy, the man was so sweet. He accepted being a father like a champ, without us readers having to read page after page of the endless battle I like to call “The Blame Game.” He definitely had his work cut out for him- especially when it came to Claire’s father. The interactions between those two were down-right hilarious!


"My father walked over to us and looked Carter up and down. 'You got any tattoos, son?’ Carter looked at me in confusion and I just shrugged my shoulders. You never knew what was going to come out of my dad's mouth. 'Uh, no. No, sir, I do not,’ Carter replied. 'You own a bike?’ ‘...Well, I have a pretty nice mountain bike that's still in storage because I just haven't had time to take it out for a…’ 'Motorcycle, Cathy,’ my father interrupted with a sigh of annoyance. 'Do you own a motorcycle?’ Carter shook his head,'No, and my name is Cart-‘ '...You ever been arrested or get in a bar fight?’ my dad interrupted. 'No, I've never been arrested or gotten into any kind of fight, Mr. Morgan,’ Carter said with a confident smile. My dad leaned over towards me. 'Claire, are you sure this kid isn't gay?’”

  

 
Robert De Niro and Ben Stiller definitely reminded me of the relationship that Carter and Claire’s dad had. The whole two-finger eye-point thing that Claire’s dad never failed to do when Carter was around, cracked me up every time!

…And dare I say it? But Claire’s son Gavin made this story- the boy was a walking parrot who repeated any and everything vulgar and crude that came out of someone’s mouth- I like to call him the son of Satan… AKA: The Devil’s Spawn. (And that’s putting it nicely…) He’s the type of kid that you run and hide from in fear of being punched in the boobs or private parts and being called a “Fat Vagina” in the middle of the grocery store because you wouldn’t buy him his favorite flavored pop-tarts. He freaking cracked me up- I can understand how he may come across as annoying to some people out there... but lets face it: He's a kid.They're annoying.

*sigh* ...Brilliant. This book was ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.

Any book that can make you laugh so hard that you actually cry (and make it to my “favorites” shelf) takes talent, if I must say so myself- These loveable cast of characters will suck you in from beginning to end. Tara Sivec is officially a new favorite author of mine- the woman is pure genius and has a way with words that left me completely in awe… and insanely jealous that I couldn’t have been the one blessed with her sense of humor and gift of writing. Seduction and Snacks was such a refreshing change from all of the dark and angsty novels that I’m used to reading on a daily basis. I can’t wait to read more in Futures and Frosting… October just can’t come fast enough!