Lt. Grayson Masters is focused on
graduating the Apache helicopter course, and the last thing he needs is his
gorgeous new roommate Samantha Fitzgerald distracting him. While her smart
mouth and free spirit are irresistibly irritating, he can’t deny their
off-the-charts chemistry, no matter how hard he tries.
Having just been expelled from
college, Sam has no business digging for Grayson’s secrets while she’s hiding
her own, but that doesn’t stop her from trying to tear down his walls. Each
barrier she busts through drops one of her own, though, and she’s not prepared
for the truth: another woman laid claim to Grayson’s heart long ago.
Falling in love is something neither
Grayson nor Sam can afford, and when that line is crossed and secrets are
exposed, they’ll learn that sometimes it’s the answered prayers that will put
you through hell.
Add To
“Samantha?” His eyes softened,
revealing the give in him, and it cracked my own defenses.
“Have you ever made a mistake,
Grayson? And I don’t mean the kind that costs you an apology. I mean one that
destroys you? Where you lie awake at night, unable to sleep, because you’re
terrified of what’s going to happen the next day, and the one after that? Where
you’d give anything, and I do mean anything to go back and
make a different a choice? Where you’re sick all the time at the thought of
what you’ve done? Because I have. I’ve crumbled my entire future, shredded any
hope of finishing college, and killed off who I used to be. And I don’t…I don’t
know how to come back from something like that.”
“You don’t.”
I jerked back, but he held me
immobile against him.
“Stop, and listen to me. I’m not
going to belittle you by saying nothing is that bad, because some things are.
Things happen that change who we are, and what we’re capable of. So you’re not
going to ‘come back’ from that any more than you’re going to erase whatever you
did. You have to decide if you’re going to try to keep patching yourself up or
if you’re going to tear down and rebuild.”
“I don’t know how to do that.”
“You wade through the pain, and the
guilt, and the excuses you make to yourself. Stop drowning in alcohol to numb
the fear, and suck up the bitter taste of accountability. You move on with who
you are now. It’s not easy. If you think you screwed up that badly, then maybe
you did, but you also have to leave room for the chance that you didn’t. Have
you talked about it?”
I shook my head. There were two of us
who knew the whole truth, and that circle was big enough. “I’m not sure I’m
ready to let go of everyone’s vision of who I am. It’s so much prettier than
the truth.”
“Not even Ember?”
“Definitely not
think-through-everything-twice Ember. She wouldn’t understand, and I’m not sure
I could handle her reaction.”
He swallowed and broke our stare like
it had become too much because we both knew the truth—it had. “That’s the
hardest part, letting someone see who you really are—scars and all. I’m…” He
cleared his throat. “You need to trust someone enough to tell them the truth.
Make peace with it before it eats you alive. I listen really well if you don’t
have anyone else.”
I scrambled to throw up a wall
between us. It was safer when he was hurling snotty comments at me. That, I
knew how to handle. But this Grayson? The one holding me carefully, keeping me
warm while the storm raged outside, offering to help carry the crippling weight
destroying me? I didn’t know what the hell to do with that one.
“Why would you even offer? Everything
you know about me is a mess. I drink too much, wear too-little clothes, dance
on bars, and impose on everyone around me because I can’t get my shit
together.”
“You can get your shit together,
you’ve just chosen not to up until now. You took that first step with Maggie.
I’m offering because I’ve made that kind of mistake, Sam, the one you don’t
come back from. I look at you, and I see what I went through. It’s too late for
me.” He took a deep breath. “But you? You’re going to spring back, so yeah, I’m
offering.”
“As friends?” I held my breath,
needing to hear it. The push and pull, the attraction, it was all there on my
side, but I wasn’t sure about his, and I wasn’t about to make an ass out of
myself. We were roommates, and this could get complicated really quickly.
Our eyes locked, and heat skimmed
down my limbs, leaving chills in its wake. “We’re both adults—”
“Well, trying to be,” I joked.
His lips quirked up at the corners. Almost
a smile. “Right. I’m not going to say that I’m not insanely attracted
to you. I don’t lie. Ever. Plus, I’d have to be dead not to realize the way you
affect me. But I’m also not in any position to act on it, and let’s be
honest—you’re not, either. But I think we can stop picking each other apart and
be friends.”
“Friends that are insanely attracted
to each other?”
He inhaled sharply, like my
attraction to him had been some secret. Yeah right. I’m pretty
sure my body threw out “screw me now” signals the minute he walked into a room,
even when I was angry with him. Hell, perversely, especially when I was angry
with him.
The siren wailed again, and I jumped,
despite the exhaustion pummeling me.
“An hour to go,” I muttered, looking
at my iPad.
“Relax and try to get some sleep.”
“Like there’s a chance of that.” But
he tucked the comforter up to my chin and drew me closer, so my head rested on
his chest.
“Just try. Some of us have to get up
for work in the morning.” His tone was light and teasing, so I didn’t jump his
case about giving me shit.
I yawned, feeling my body betray me
and start to shut down like he’d flipped some magic Sam-sleep button. “I’m glad
we can be friends.” Sleep slurred my words.
“Me, too.”
About Rebecca Yarros
Rebecca Yarros is a hopeless romantic
and lover of all things chocolate, coffee, and Paleo. In addition to being a
mom, military wife, and blogger, she can never choose between Young Adult and
New Adult fiction, so she writes both. She's a graduate of Troy University,
where she studied European history and English, but still holds out hope for an
acceptance letter to Hogwarts. Her blog, The Only Girl Among Boys, has been
voted the Top Military Mom Blog the last two years, and celebrates the complex
issues surrounding the military life she adores.
When she's not writing, she's tying
on hockey skates for her kids, or sneaking in some guitar time. She is madly in
love with her army-aviator husband of eleven years, and they're currently
stationed in Upstate NY with their gaggle of rambunctious kiddos and snoring
English Bulldog, but she would always rather be home in Colorado.
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