"If all you can do is crawl,
start crawling. Soon, you’ll be able to stand."
S’renaty James lives a privileged
life most her age only dream of living. She is beautiful and popular with her
entire life ahead of her. Life could not get any better.
Until her entire life shifts,
crashing around her...
Bound by devastation, persecuted
by the ones she used to call ‘friends’, haunted by disturbing nightmares, and
filled with self-blame, she vows to overcome.
Stefan is everything S’renaty
swears to avoid. He is carefree and charismatic. He is primitive, complicated
and a total badass. He makes her melt like fine chocolate under a hot summer’s
sun the first time their eyes meet. There is something about him, and she makes
it her mission to find out.
When he meets S’renaty James, he
is not prepared for what comes over him because for the first time ever, a girl
leaves him breathless. Now, his primary responsibility is to keep her safe.
He will do anything to protect
her. Even lie...
Stefan is the one person she has
trusted with her heart. After keeping an unforgivable secret, he could be the
one to shatter it to pieces. In fact, he may even destroy her beyond repair.
Will she overcome and forgive, letting go of the pain, guilt and shame? Or this
time, will she be stronger than the hardest lesson of her life — and, become
totally ShameLess?
Mel Ballew resides in rural Pennsylvania with her husband and
daughter, along with their two adorable cats.
An avid reader, she has always had an equal passion for writing and has written her entire life, to date. Her mother initially birthed, inspired, and encouraged these loves. The two often discussed writing together but unfortunately, that dream never came to fruition.
Years later, this happened, that happened—life happened.
She stepped away from writing to place more focus on being wife and a full-time mom. Today, she would not have changed a thing. The day her daughter was born became the first day she realized a significant rhythm to her heart was also born. Her daughter, now preparing to go off to college, has grown into a beautiful and responsible young adult.
A twisted turn of events in September 2009 left Mel unable to work outside of the home. Forced to consider other options, and while embracing a therapeutic approach of transcribing all of the challenges facing her, post-accident, she returned to journaling. Once again, the writer within her has been re-birthed—awakened from slumber.
Mel is a hopeless romantic. Blessed, she has her very own soul mate, which she calls husband, best friend, and lover.
She is a simple country gal, with a profound love of true simplicity. She is just as hopeless in her love of nature and regards many of her writing aspirations to appreciating its beauty, although every single story is birthed from her dreams. Sometimes, in life, simply enjoying a chilled glass of sangria on a warm summer’s eve or indulging in her love of chocolate and peanut butter is an expression of enjoying such simplicity. For her, these moments are truly d’vine.
An avid reader, she has always had an equal passion for writing and has written her entire life, to date. Her mother initially birthed, inspired, and encouraged these loves. The two often discussed writing together but unfortunately, that dream never came to fruition.
Years later, this happened, that happened—life happened.
She stepped away from writing to place more focus on being wife and a full-time mom. Today, she would not have changed a thing. The day her daughter was born became the first day she realized a significant rhythm to her heart was also born. Her daughter, now preparing to go off to college, has grown into a beautiful and responsible young adult.
A twisted turn of events in September 2009 left Mel unable to work outside of the home. Forced to consider other options, and while embracing a therapeutic approach of transcribing all of the challenges facing her, post-accident, she returned to journaling. Once again, the writer within her has been re-birthed—awakened from slumber.
Mel is a hopeless romantic. Blessed, she has her very own soul mate, which she calls husband, best friend, and lover.
She is a simple country gal, with a profound love of true simplicity. She is just as hopeless in her love of nature and regards many of her writing aspirations to appreciating its beauty, although every single story is birthed from her dreams. Sometimes, in life, simply enjoying a chilled glass of sangria on a warm summer’s eve or indulging in her love of chocolate and peanut butter is an expression of enjoying such simplicity. For her, these moments are truly d’vine.
It’s
My Life - Bon Jovi
Beaches
- Bette Midler
Live
Like You Are Dying - Tim McGraw
One
Step At A Time - Jordin Sparks
Show
Me What I’m Looking For - Carolina Liar
Acceptance
In The Waves - Ice Nine Kills
Let’s
Get It Started - The Black Eyed Peas
Party
Rock Anthem - LMFAO
Walk
Of Shame - P!nk
Wild
Boy - MGK
Purple
Rain - Prince
When
It Rains - Paramore
Get
Lucky – Daft Punk
Crazy
Train - Ozzy Osbourne
Between
the Raindrops - Lifehouse
Sun
Doesn’t Rise - Mushroomhead
Crazy
Bitch - L.A. Guns
Welcome
to My House Party - Mill Creek
Losing
My Mind - Daughtry
I’m
That Chick - Mariah Carey
Cassanova
- Frankie Paul
Because
Of You - Kelly Clarkson
Lost
In You - Three Days Grace
Touch
My Body - Mariah Carey
Just
A Fool - Christina Aguilera
Umbrella
- Boyce Avenue
Home
- Phillip Phillips
Rise
Above This - Seether
Whatever
It Takes - Lifehouse
Shout
At The Devil - Motley Crue
Before
I Met You - Usher
I
Won’t Give Up - Jason Mraz
Who
Knew - P!nk
Light
Up The Sky - Christina Aguilera
Neon
Lights - Demi Lovato
Shameless
- All Time Low
Shooting
Star - Owl City
The
Kill - Thirty Seconds To Mars
Stronger
- Kelly Clarkson
Try
Sleeping With A Broken Heart - Alicia Keys
Fix
You - Cold Play
Hit
Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar
I
Swear - All-4-One
More
Than Words Can Say - Alias
What
About Now - Bruno Mars
Just
The Way You Are - Rachael Yamagata
Just
Give Me A Reason - P!nk, Nate Ruess
Listen
to the ShameLess Playlist on Spotify
Excerpt
With my head propped against my mother’s warmth, and my body wrapped in
her love, I open my eyes and see the reflection of my half of the ‘best friends
forever’ necklace shimmering in the beams of sunlight coming through my bedroom
drapes. It is hanging where it always has, over the photo of Elle and me at my
eleventh birthday party at the beach. The picture was taken the day she got it
for me. Both of us are wearing our party hats as colored balloons with their
matching curled and spiraled strings hang around us, providing the perfect
backdrop. I can’t take my eyes off them.
My mother missed this one
photo. She missed the necklace, too. It may only be half of one heart
illuminated by the sunlight, but in this particular moment, it illustrates the
clarity and depth of my pain. Ironically, it is exactly how my heart is now
without her. It is only half of what it used to be. It is only half of what it
should be still. My heart will never be whole again. Best friends forever, Elle. I love you. Always have; always will. My
mind projects the words to her without saying it aloud.
Overwhelmed with agony, I clench my eyes shut and hold onto my mother.
I cannot bring her back. I cannot go back in time and change the outcome. The
present moment is all I have now.
My heart bleeds as my eyes overflow with the pain pouring out from the
depths of my soul. I will never be the same. I am the reason Elle sped off that
night. This is entirely my fault. It should have been one of the happiest
moments of our lives together and of our senior year. It turned out to be the
worst. I killed my best friend.
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