Then along comes Jack - the human train engineer she saves in an explosion. His touch weakens both her knees and her sense of duty. Now Three must choose between her immortal duties, her forbidden friendship, and her human lover.
With every choice comes a cost, but not every cost is hers to pay...
Excerpt
I
darted up the front stairs to Jack’s two-story house, admiring the his
little yard and the untended weeds, sporadic flowers decorating the
grass yellow. Train engineers weren’t home often enough to keep up on
the household chores, I knew. I twisted the doorknob, and though it was
locked, I pushed it beyond the lock and broke it open without effort.
Slipping inside, I glanced around the entryway, shocked to see no extra
shoes on the mat and no other jackets on the coat rack. Huh. Jack lived
alone.
I
took the stairs four at a time and found what looked like Jack’s
bedroom. I laid him down in his bed and pulled off his shoes, slipped
off his filthy, torn jacket, and then cleaned the wound on his arm with a
cloth I found in an attached bathroom.
Bathrooms.
I hadn’t needed one in seventy years. It was odd to glance at the
mirror and see no hint of a reflection as I wet the cloth with hot
water. It was only moments before I had the wound clean and dressed with
a chunk of that shirt I’d shed, and the bleeding had nearly stopped.
Jack mumbled when I tried to get his shirt up over his head, so I stopped and glanced down at his bare skin. Oh, my, he was as
strong a human as I’d suspected, and I yanked the hem of his t-shirt
back down to cover his abdomen, which rose and fell with heavy slumber.
I’d only meant to help him get comfortable, but undressing a human...
and admiring his body... none of it was appropriate. His lips twitched
when I covered him. He didn’t move again, so I sat back and sighed.
Sunrise was less than an hour away, and I didn’t want to get caught
outdoors in it, so I sat on the edge of Jack’s bed and touched his
cheek, hoping the chill of my skin would wake him up. He didn’t move.
“Jack,”
I said, keeping my voice low so as to not startle him. For anyone,
waking up to a Vesper in your bedroom would be a terrifying experience.
It was worse for train men, who both knew what we could do, and had
probably witnessed it a time or two transporting Vespers across the
country. He still didn’t stir, so I stroked his cheek with my cold palm,
hoping he’d rouse soon. I glanced at the window, the telltale sign of
morning brightening the room to an icy glow.
“Jack,”
I said again. I rubbed his cheek harder and frowned. Stubble from his
chin scratched at my skin, and I rubbed it again, intrigued. Huh. Did
male Vespers grow facial hair? I’d never seen my friend Sychar, or any
other Gent, with a beard. Maybe they didn’t. My body hair was scarce
anyway, but what about the men?
I
ran my fingertip and thumb along his chin, dragging silken skin across
rough stubble. That curiosity prickled through my nerves again, and I
leaned down to get a closer look at him.
Age had not yet weathered Jack’s temples, nor had stress grayed his hair. He was young, and in damn good shape for a human, and…
Crap, Three, focus!
Jack
wasn’t waking up. Had I done the wrong thing by bringing him home?
Should he be in a hospital? No! If he died here in his bed, I’d never
get any more information about the explosion, and he’d be dead.
Why
did that bother me? And why was I still touching his face? I jerked my
hand away and jumped to my feet, realizing what a total creep I was,
stroking the stubble of an unconscious man – human, a meal – in his bed.
But he wasn’t waking up.
Okay, think, Three! In
movies, men slapped the cheeks of fainted women to wake them up. With
my strength, I had to be cautious not to concuss him further. I climbed
atop him and sat astride his lap, adjusting his head on the pillow so he
was straight beneath me, lying on his back.
I cringed and tapped his cheek with my fingertips.
He
didn’t move. I’d have to hit him harder. My heartbeat pounded a rhythm
of don’t-kill, don’t-kill, don’t-kill as I squeezed his body between my
thighs, holding him still as I prepared to shock him awake in the worst
way possible.
I
winced and slapped him on the cheek at half-strength, and his eyes
snapped open, his muscles all clenching beneath me as he sucked in a
gasp. He stared straight at me and I grabbed his wrists, pinning them
down above his head, hissing to quiet him.
“It’s okay, Jack!” I hissed.
He
blinked and focused on me, and then dropped his head back on his pillow
and let out his breath in a rush. “Oh, good, it’s you.” His body
relaxed beneath me. He glanced at his wrists. “Let go of me.”
Oh good, it’s a man-eating Vesper? Okay.
Ignoring the things I didn’t understand was the best policy, I figured.
I leaned down and got a good look at his light, jade-blue eyes, and his
pupils seemed normal in the dim light. My heartbeat picked up in pace
again as the glow of nighttime lifting though the window brightened,
signaling the looming day. I’d be out of time to get to darkness in
minutes.
“Let go,” he repeated, a force in his voice I didn’t expect. He dared to order me around? All alone, here in his home?
I
released his wrists and he brought his hands down with a groan, resting
them atop my thighs. I watched the path of his fingers as he rubbed
them down my thighs, and shook my head, confused. Why would he dare to
touch me like this?
At least he wasn’t touching my scars. I shuddered at the memory of Rachel’s sharp flicks in the bath.
“I need to go,” I said. “Find one of the Maids at the North Vancouver station to give a full report on what happened, okay?”
“Wait,” Jack said, his voice gruff from slumber. “Just wait a minute. Let me get my head back on my shoulders.”
I
blinked. I was still sitting on top of him. But he didn’t seem to mind
my weight, so I waited, my heart clenching tighter with anxiety over the
sun with each breath that passed.
Jack ran his palms up and down my thighs again. “Thank you,” he said. “Really. I thought I was a goner for sure.”
Why are you still touching me? “I’m
glad you’re okay.” That was not the most authoritative,
I’m-the-Vesper-so-I’m-in-charge thing for me to say. Stupid. I had to
get out of there - into the darkness - before morning fully broke, no
matter what I had to say to rush this little encounter along.
Jack
fumbled on his nightstand beside his head for a little, white box. He
picked it up and pressed a button and I jumped when something hummed
behind me. I twisted to see black, vertical shades drawing closed of
their own accord across the window, and the room darkened to a
comfortable level. I turned back to face Jack, confused.
He shrugged. “You guys pay us well, since we can’t have a social life and might be eaten at any moment. I’ve got everything on remote control in this place.”
I didn’t know what to say. “Why did you do that?”
Jack grinned and shook his head. “Well, fuck, Three, you just saved my life. It’d be shitty manners to let you burn for it.”
Oh.
That was nice of him, I supposed, even if he cursed like a barbarian
while he did it. He wasn’t afraid to speak to me as though I was one of
his coworkers. And his hands on my legs, the sinful combination of his
voice and touch… it was as though the pedestal upon which I lived my
life – superior, timeless, and unbearably alone – sloped a bit so I
could spend these few stolen moments on the same level as someone else.
Someone real.
A human. Stolen moments were forbidden moments. I moved to climb off him, but he squeezed my thighs and I stopped.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
I shook my head. “Away? Off of you, anyway. I need to get outside, find shelter before daybreak.”
“It is daybreak, and you’re already in a shelter.”
“Right, but…” Curse his logic! “…I shouldn’t be here. It’s forbidden.”
“You Vespers and your forbidden shit. Is it forbidden to kiss me, too?”
I gasped. “I did not kiss you! You kissed me!”
Jack
laughed, and the way his body shook beneath me sent tendrils of heat
licking up through my core like flames. “I distinctly remember you
leaning down to my mouth, and me kissing you back. And I liked it. So
what?”
“So
what?!” My voice climbed an octave. He liked it. That made two of us,
but I wasn’t about to admit such a thing. “We could both be killed for
it, that’s what!”
“And who’s gonna know? No one can kill us if we promise not to tell. I liked it. You liked it.”
“I didn’t like it!” I lied.
“Then why are you still on top of me?”
“I’m
not!” I jumped up and crossed the room to the door. God! What was his
problem?! This persistence was uncalled-for, and I was within my rights
to devour him for bantering with me as though I were merely a human, or
as though he were a Vesper.
And
what was my problem? I knew better than to allow the words that crossed
a mortal’s lips to fluster me into defensiveness. Even if they were
lips like his, lips that unraveled me, lips that tasted like swearing
and home.
That kiss was the biggest mistake I’d ever made.
“Wait,
Three, wait!” Jack sat up and I turned with a huff. I could feel the
exhaustion of daytime weighing me down already, and it was too late to
get to another shelter without burning.
Jack
stood and rubbed his neck. “I’m sorry. I thought… I got my signals
crossed. Just… please stay, okay? I don’t want you to burn in the sun,
and I’ve never…” He trailed off, glancing around. “You’re in my home. A
Vesper is in my home, and she’s not trying to kill me. This is a pretty
big moment for me, and I don’t want to waste it fighting with you.”
I
shook my head, the sincerity in his voice pulling me in two directions.
On the one hand, I should run the hell away from this train man fast before
any little crush he had took root. On the other hand, he wanted me
here. Why did he want me here? I thought the hoggers tolerated us out of
fear and harbored no warm feelings toward the serpentine demons who
dominated their lives.
But why didn’t
matter, not when it was a human, a man who couldn’t grasp the depth of
the consequences our actions might bring. And as the superior being in
the room, it was my responsibility to make the right decision, even if
all I wanted to do was crash into his bed and let daytime exhaustion
have me in the arms of sin. So I took a deep breath and hoped my remorse
was too subtle on my face for his weak eyesight to catch. “I didn’t
mean to kiss you. I shouldn’t do that to you. It’s wrong; it’s an abuse
of my position.”
“So… you fell onto my mouth with your mouth?”
“No!”
“What did you mean to do to me, then?”
“Knock you unconscious with my poison.”
He tilted his head, another grin tugging at the edge of his lips. “You can do that?”
I
groaned, dropping my arms to my sides. “I’m not supposed to kiss you,
and I’m not supposed to tell you these things, and I’m not going to
stand here and argue with a human about any of it! You’re food!”
“You didn’t kiss me like food.”
My jaw dropped open. Was he serious? “I’m not having this conversation with a mortal.”
Jack
ruffled his hair with his good hand, and I looked away because his
bicep flexed and I wanted to see more of it, and that was unnatural, and
wrong. Good God, I could picture him naked. Stop it, Three!
“Would you have it with an immortal?”
He had the audacity to ask me about my sex life! “Have what with an immortal?” My voice arced into a shriek, I was so caught off guard.
Jack flinched at my volume, but let a sneaky smile invade his lips. “This conversation! What did you think I meant?”
Oh.
Over-reaction. A flood of humiliation poured through my heart at the
shock in his tone. Of course he wasn’t talking about my sex life. I
could swallow his entire corpse in one bite. Not exactly sexy, to a
human. But I was so used to being on the defensive side of things that I
jumped to accusation without paying attention to his words. “Um, sorry,
I misunderstood. Yes. I mean, no. I don’t… what… what was the
question?”
Jack’s
grin spread full-force across his face and he stifled a laugh with a
fist to his mouth, so I scoffed and turned away, humiliated. How stupid
was I, to kiss him, and then bring him home? He kissed me first! Dammit!
“God, you’re cute.”
“You have no business asking me about my personal life!”
“Three,
I know you aren’t allowed to have relationships with the Gents. I
travel with Levi and Festus pretty often, and they talk all the fucking
time. They never shut up. I wasn’t trying to pry into your business…
just wondering if you’d be more willing to stay and chat if I was
immortal. You know, keep me company, and trust me to keep you safe from
the sunlight.”
I
took a steadying breath. Safe from the sunlight. “I’m… not thinking
clearly. Daytime really messes me up.” It was a lame excuse, because it
really only wore down my body rather than my mind, but I’d say whatever I
had to in order to get him to stop screwing with my morality and
tempting me like an apple on a sacred tree.
Warm
fingers found mine. I froze as his fingers folded around my hand, and
then he took that hand in his other and flipped my palm up, inspecting
me.
“What are you doing?”
“You Vespers talk too much. Shut up and let me look at you.”
Shut up? He just told me to shut up. “When was the last time you let your dinner talk to you that way?”
“I’m
not your dinner. If you wanted to eat me, you’d have already done it.”
He traced a fingertip up my palm, over the inside of my wrist, and I
tried not to tremble at his touch. The pad of his finger wasn’t silken
steel like that of a Gent, but what Gent would touch a Maid this way,
either? I didn’t really know how a Gent would feel, caressing me like
this. I didn’t know how any man would feel trailing a finger
tenderly over my sensitive skin. I’d been touched before, but not like
this. Not with reverence, desire, and respect all at once.
Would it hurt if he touched my scars? I hid a cringe at the thought. I didn’t want to find out.
Jacked clicked his tongue. “Incredible.”
“What’s incredible?” My voice came out with a breathiness I didn’t expect.
His
jade eyes met mine, and he blinked at my confusion. “You. Vespers. I’ve
never had the opportunity to really look at a Maid up close like this,
you know? You all keep your distance a lot more than the Gents. Not that
they ever come over for a drink after work, but they’re always hovering
around, being spooky and shit.”
I almost laughed, but pulled my hand back. “We don’t do this.”
“We?”
“Vespers. We don’t… do things like this.”
“You don’t touch each other? Or humans?”
I
shook my head, and the sound of my thick heartbeat, pumping viscous
blood through my body, hollowed at the truth of that spoken out loud.
No, we didn’t do this. Not unless we wanted to get caught, punished, and
killed. I knew that all too well. And two people didn’t touch in an
affectionate way like this unless they intended something more than
acquaintance. Something bigger. I shivered.
Jack
hummed as I trembled and reached forward again, touching my arm. He
slid his fingers all the way up to my shoulder, watching his tan hand
glide along my fairer skin. My breath drew in ragged as he stroked me,
as though touching a priceless antique. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t
like it, right?”
I
swallowed and wanted to lie, but couldn’t find any words. His hand
reached my shoulder and he hesitated for a moment, but then cupped my
chin and pulled my gaze to meet his.
His light jade eyes searched mine. “If you like touch so much, why don’t you do it more often?”
I
knew I should flinch away from his hand. I had been without touch for
so long, save for my sister’s torture and my Lady’s occasional
affectionate contact. It wasn’t the same as this. It wasn’t warm or
inviting, like this. My voice was rough with something foreign, unknown,
slipping through my body like hot oil. Touch. “Physical intimacy has
nothing to do with procreation for us.”
He tilted his head to peek at my fangs. “You drain blood and fill the body with poison to make other Vespers, right?”
“Right,” I whispered.
Jack
grimaced at the pain in his injured bicep as he slipped his hands on
either side of my face, cupping my face for a moment. I leaned into his
warmth, but he let go too soon and slid his fingertips up and down my
arms, stroking me. “So you were human, once.”
I
nodded. I had been human, once. Breakable, like Jack. And intimacy had
hurt me. But I wasn’t human anymore, yet Jack’s caress woke up a
sensitivity in my heart I’d never felt before. Somewhere in the back of
my mind, I recognized how wrong this was… but this heat licking through
my body… I wanted more of it, more than I wanted to feed, more than I
craved darkness. There was no way this man could hurt me, with the
strength I possessed as an immortal. And this desire had been suppressed
for so long it coursed through me with undeniable potency.
Jack
pulled me back to his bed and sat down. I hesitated, so he tugged on my
fingers and I climbed into his bed, sitting astride him once more as he
lay back, my body alight with something so foreign I almost felt like I
was operating a shell that wasn’t my own. A shell that felt good, for once, liquid heat moving through me, melting my fears and smoothing out the sharp ridges of rage in my soul.
The
ethical screaming in my head dwindled behind the sound of Jack’s
breathing and heart, the life force that made him so tempting to my
hungers in every terrible way.
Jack’s
hands fit around my hips just right and I leaned down again, my mouth
above his. He stretched to kiss me, and I pulled back, but just a touch.
“Careful,” I said, cautious of my anaesthetic venom.
Jack
chuckled, his voice so low and rough with the growl of arousal that I
nearly lost my breath. “Oh, trust me, I want to be alert and coherent
for this.”
I kept my lips tightly closed as I closed that final gap and let him kiss me.
And holy crap, did he kiss me.
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