RELEASE DATE: October 26th
I
wanted to jump.
He
made me fall.
As
a celebrity, I lived in the public eye, but somewhere along the way, I’d lost
myself in the spotlight.
Until
he found me.
Sam
Rivers was a gorgeous, tattooed stranger who saved my life with nothing more
than a simple conversation.
But
we were both standing on that bridge for a reason the night we met. The
secrets of our pasts brought us together—and then tore us apart.
Could
we find a reason to hold on as life constantly pulled us down?
Or
maybe there’s only one direction to go when two people fall in love at rock
bottom—up.
Levee
It was raining. Isn’t that the way all great love stories
start? And also usually end? The midnight air was cool against my skin as I
stared off that bridge. My blond wig was secured in place by a headband, and
chunky sunglasses covered my whiskey-colored eyes. I didn’t look like myself
any more than I felt it. Bruises from the night before painted my legs while
fresh scabs covered my knees, but it was the hollowness in my chest that hurt
the most.
Yep. Still me.
Which was exactly why I was standing on that bridge,
wishing for the mental fortitude to hurl myself off.
A man’s voice interrupted my thoughts. “You finally gonna
do it tonight?”
I instinctually smoothed my fake hair down and pressed the
bridge of my glasses closer to my face, sealing out any possible glance he
could catch. I stared ahead as I snapped, “Excuse me?”
“I’ve seen you here three nights in a row now. I was just
wondering if tonight was going to be the night you finally jump.”
My eyes flashed wide, but since they were covered by the
dark glasses, my reaction remained hidden. “I just like the view. That’s all.” What a load of shit.
I watched him nod out of the corner of my eye. “Yeah me
too. It’s gorgeous up here.”
Shuffling my feet to the side, I attempted to slip away as
he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered it my way.
“You want one?”
I shook my head and then crept down a few inches to put
distance between us.
“Suit yourself.” He used a hand to shield the lighter from
the wind, but the constant sprinkle of rain made his task impossible. “Damn
it,” he cursed with the cigarette tucked between his lips. “Little help?” he
asked, swinging his gaze to mine.
Arching an eyebrow, I asked, “With what?”
“It’s raining…and windy…and I’m trying to burn one.” He
tilted his head, equally as incredulous.
“You want me to call God? We had a bad breakup recently,
but he might be willing to do me one last favor.”
He breathed an exaggerated sigh of relief. “That would be fantastic. What’s the big guy’s response
time like these days? Last time we spoke, it was”—he paused to look at his
watch—“oh, twenty-seven years.”
A soft laugh bubbled from my throat, and one side of his
mouth lifted in a gorgeous grin.
“I’m not exactly in the mood to wait that long, so maybe
you could just block the wind with your body?” His smile spread as he stepped
toward me, forcing my gaze to nervously bounce away.
“Sorry. Can’t help you there. Lung cancer and I broke up
too.” After gathering the back of my wig into a ponytail, I pulled it over my
shoulder and turned away from him. The chill of the wind blasted my face and
roared over my ears as it rushed past me.
I went back to staring out at the dark, choppy water,
becoming lost in the idea of how cold it might be.
Is tonight the night?
No.
My feet would more than likely never leave the edge of
that bridge, but there was a definite reason why I was imagining ending it all.
Exactly zero other people in the world would understand why. I had it all, and
I dreamed about losing it all—more often than I would ever admit, even to
myself.
After stepping out of my heels, I slipped my foot between
the bars on the railing. The wind slammed my bruised leg against the metal.
“Shit,” I hissed as pain shot through me.
“You think that hurts? Imagine falling twenty-five stories
then crashing into the water, which might as well be concrete, at speeds upward
of seventy miles per hour,” the man said, leaning on the metal railing next to
me.
“Wow. Someone’s done some research,” I said sarcastically,
barely sparing him a glance.
“Daily,” he responded frankly, causing my surprised gaze
to swing to his. Simply shrugging at my reaction, he turned his back to the
railing and propped himself up on his colorfully tattooed forearms. “You forget
I’ve been here the last three nights in a row too.” He smirked, lifting the
cigarette up to his lips for a deep inhale.
“Listen, I’m not
going to jump if you’re some kind of caped crusader on a mission. I just needed
some fresh air.” I pointedly glanced at his cigarette.
A laugh escaped his mouth in a grey puff. “Fresh air is
overrated. Especially given the reason you’re standing here.” He knowingly
arched a dark-brown eyebrow.
“Riiiiight,” I drawled, rolling my eyes behind my glasses.
“Okay, well, I was just heading out anyway.”
“Then my work here is done.” He bowed, and the corner of
my mouth lifted in a smile as I stepped back into my shoes and walked away.
I shook my head at the random stranger. Then, a thought
struck me, stopping me only a few feet away. Spinning back to face him, I
asked, “Wait. Were you reaching out to me as a cry for help?”
“Oh look. Designer Shoes has a conscience!” He dropped his
cigarette to the damp ground, stepping on it with the toe of his well-worn,
black boots. Bending over, he picked the butt up and tucked it in his pocket.
At least he didn’t litter.
“Oh look. Tattooed Stalker has jokes!” I smarted back.
He smiled, pulling another cigarette from his pocket and
then pausing just before guiding it between his lips. “Were you judging me
based on my tattoos? I’m offended.” He feigned anguish then laughed while
lifting his lighter to once again battle the wind for a nicotine fix.
I wanted to walk away, but he wasn’t wrong. I did have a
conscience, and right then, I was worried that it might really be his night to
make good on his apparent numerous visits to the bridge.
With a huff, I headed back towards him, praying that I
could wrap it up as quickly as possible then head back to my house for a few
hours of sleep. Or, more likely, lie awake while staring at the ceiling and crying.
“Are you planning to jump for real?” I asked.
His smile fell as he focused on the water. “Nah. I don’t
have the balls to do something like that. Talking to you wasn’t a plea for help
or anything. You just look worse than usual tonight.” His gaze slid down to my
battered legs.
“Oh!” I exclaimed in understanding. “That’s not at all
what you’re thinking. I fell down some stairs.”
He quirked his lips in disbelief.
“I’m serious!”
“I’m sure you are,” he told the wind. “You can go. I’m
good.”
I could have walked away, but for some reason, I pulled my
jacket tighter around my shoulders and silently stood there while he finished
his cigarette.
After a final deep inhale, he flicked it over the railing
of the bridge.
Apparently, he does litter.
Turning to me, his face became serious. “You need to call
the cops before he makes the decision to end it all for you.”
“Who?” I asked, watching the burning ember hit the metal
column then explode in a million different sparks before disappearing down to the
water below.
Lucky cigarette.
“The stairs…and
whatever inanimate object you’re blaming for those bruises you’re hiding behind
sunglasses at one in the morning. You should call the cops before…” His voice
trailed off, but his dark gaze narrowed on mine. His eyes bored into my hidden
stare, combining with the rain and wind to send chills down my spine.
I took the moment to secretly assess him. He was insanely
sexy, but nothing like the men I was accustomed to. His chin was the kind of
scruffy that made women weak, but it was obvious he didn’t pay four hundred
dollars for his personal hairstylist to shape it. Judging by his shaggy, brown
hair that begged for me to thread my fingers in it, I wasn’t sure he was even a
barbershop kind of guy. He stood a few inches taller than I was in heels, so I
pegged him at around six one. And while his tattooed forearms were deliciously
sculpted and his shoulders were notably defined, his body didn’t appear to be
swollen with muscles from hours spent at the gym. By the aura of bad boy he gave off, I would have
expected him to be a self-consumed, arrogant prick.
He wasn’t though.
He was just an average guy worrying about the well-being
of an average girl.
Only he couldn’t have been more wrong, and a pang of guilt
hit me hard.
Just not hard enough for me to do anything to correct his
assumptions about who I was.
Very softly, I attempted to put his fears to rest. “I
promise it’s not what you’re thinking.”
“Okay,” he responded, unconvinced. He nodded to himself
before dragging another cigarette from his pocket.
I watched him struggle for a second before I scooted
towards him, using my body to block the wind.
Biting the cigarette between his straight, white teeth, he
smiled devilishly around it. “Thanks.” Flicking the flame to life, he hunched
over until a stream of smoke swirled up from the red tip.
“You should stop smoking.”
“Noted.” He exhaled through his nose.
We went back to silently staring over the side of the
bridge. The familiar lights of the San Francisco skyline danced all around us.
And, even as tourists and locals alike passed by us, I felt an odd, and
unbelievably comfortable, isolation
standing there with him.
When my teeth began to chatter, his attention was drawn my
way. “I’m not here to jump. You really can go.”
I nodded but didn’t move away.
He chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest and rubbing
his biceps for warmth.
“How are you not frozen?” I asked, taking in his thin
Henley for the first time since we met.
Shrugging, he dropped his cigarette, answering as he bent
to retrieve it. “Thick skin? I’m used to it? I come here a lot? I’m half
Eskimo?”
I eyed him suspiciously. “You’re cold, aren’t you?”
“Fucking. Freezing,” he admitted, tucking his arms close
to his body and blowing into his hands. “I just came up here for one smoke.
Then I saw you. Now, come on. Be a lady and loan a man a jacket,” he joked,
tugging on the edge of my coat.
I laughed, hugging it even tighter around my body and
stepping out of his reach. “How about we both just leave? Then neither of us
have to worry about the other plummeting to their death.”
“Sounds like an amazing plan.” He shoved his hands into
the pockets of the tattered jeans riding low on his hips. As we began the hike
back down to the foot of the bridge, he asked, “You have a name, Designer
Shoes?”
I smiled and shook my head, not willing to lie—or divulge
the truth.
“Yeah. Me either,” he replied.
I bit my bottom lip to suppress a laugh.
Side by side, we trudged the rest of the way in silence.
When we got to the foot of the bridge, he turned to face
me and sighed. “Well, I genuinely hope I never see you again.”
My head snapped back in shock, and maybe a little hurt.
But he quickly corrected himself. “No! I just mean… Shit.”
He ran a nervous hand through his hair while I watched, amused. “I just mean,
given the way we met… I…um. I hope you never have a reason to go back up
there.”
I teasingly tipped my head to the side. “But I really like
the view.”
He cleared his throat. “Right. Of course, the view. Okay,
well, have a good night.”
“You too.” I smiled tightly, but my feet didn’t budge. I
told myself that it was because I didn’t want him to see my car or the
bodyguard waiting for me behind the wheel. But, in reality, I just wasn’t ready
to leave. Home wasn’t where I wanted to be. I didn’t actually want to be anywhere.
Not even standing at the foot of a bridge, talking to a
witty and sexy man.
Okay, maybe I wanted that a little bit.
“Yep. Have a good
night,” he repeated, shoving his hands inside his pockets and slowly backing
away.
I gave him a quick wave, which he returned before he
jogged in the other direction.
I smiled to myself, shaking my head at the entire
interaction—secretly lamenting that it hadn’t been longer.
Born and
raised in Savannah, Georgia, Aly Martinez is a stay-at-home mom to four crazy
kids under the age of five, including a set of twins. Currently living in South
Carolina, she passes what little free time she has reading anything and
everything she can get her hands on, preferably with a glass of wine at her
side.
After
some encouragement from her friends, Aly decided to add “Author” to her
ever-growing list of job titles. Five books later, she shows no signs of
slowing. So grab a glass of Chardonnay, or a bottle if you’re hanging out with
Aly, and join her aboard the crazy train she calls life.
