Review: But I Love Him by Amanda Grace

To sum it up: Tonight was so much worse than anything before it. Tonight he didn't stop after the first slap.

At the beginning of senior year, Ann was a smiling, straight-A student and track star with friends and a future. Then she met a haunted young man named Connor. Only she can heal his emotional scars; only he could make her feel so loved-and needed. Ann can't recall the pivotal moment it all changed, when she surrendered everything to be with him, but by graduation, her life has become a dangerous high wire act. Just one mistake could trigger Connor's rage, a senseless storm of cruel words and violence damaging everything-and everyone-in its path.

This evocative slideshow of flashbacks reveals a heartbreaking story of love gone terribly wrong…

 Yep. I’d say that about sums it up.

On a more serious note though, you would think after reading the synopsis of this book that it’s going to be a really powerful and emotional read, right?WRONG. I was so very very wrong… This book was absolute torture for me to get through, on every level. So torturous, that I’ve actually made a list of things I was doing on several occasions, at the same time I was reading:

1.) Talking on the phone.
2.) Texting.
3.) Searching for kindle freebies.
4.) Checking my GR notifications.
5.) Responding to e-mails.
6.) Picking the chipped polish off of my nails.
7.) Constantly checking the percentage on my kindle to see if I'm any closer to being finished. 

You get the hint. You know you’re in for an awful read, when you’re actually excited about finishing a book. I literally had a countdown for how many more pages I had left- not a good sign. But before going into this review, let me first make something clear: nothing about the abuse theme bothered me- I didn’t go into this novel with a judgmental mindset at all, because let’s face it: most romance novels revolving around abusive relationships, typically involve a heroine who consistently gets beat up mentally and physically, yet still allow themselves to be a human punching bag on a daily basis. I expected this, and actually looked forward to it- but what I got instead, was a huge disappointment.

First of all… if you’re looking for a book with an actual story, then this isn’t the book for you. There was hardly any dialogue what-so-ever. None. Zip. Nada. Tell me… how is one supposed to get to know characters on a personal level, when the only thing we’re reading is narration? The entire book was like reading a personal and repetitive diary of the heroine and her relationship with the hero. Any romance novel… especially one revolving around a theme as serious as abuse, should be emotional. It should be powerful. And it should make you feel. Yet the only feeling I got out of this story, was complete and utter boredom. 

There was so much more that could have been explored in this book, and so much more that I craved to see. So little happened from the first page until the last, and none of it kept me interested. For starters, I really disliked how the book was written- Each chapter started from the future and worked its way back to the past. I’m not sure where the logic was when doing this, but the only thing this accomplished was constant repetitiveness. Not only that, but it was hard to get a real connection with any character when the story was told like it was- every single person introduced in the novel came out flat and one-dimensional. Can you believe that I actually have no idea the heroine's name?This. Is. No. Joke. ...I literally had to scroll to the top of this review to read through the synopsis again, before finding out what her name was. That's how memorable of a character she was. Come to think about it, NOTHING about this story was memorable...

Absolutely.
Nothing.

I’m still trying to figure out how this book got so many high ratings- it’s mind-boggling, to tell you the truth. I can’t name one thing I enjoyed about this story… Not. One. Single. Thing. …It’s a shame to have to say it, but nothing about this book lived up to its potential- I really do hate to write such a negative review, but I just find it completely necessary to give you all a fair warning: Definitely think twice before adding this one to your TBR List. DON'T READ THIS.