Blog Tour and Review: Arsen by Mia Asher

One glance was all it took…

I'm a cheater.
I'm a liar.
My whole life is a mess.

I love a man.
No, I love two men…
I think.

One makes love to me. The other sets me on fire.
One is my rock. The other is my kryptonite.

I'm broken, lost, and disgusted with myself.

But I can't stop. This is my story.
My broken love story.

My Review:

This book destroyed me. Completely destroyed me. I knew going in that it would be a rough one. But I "manned up" so I could see what all the fuss was about. I was very skeptical when I started and was concerned about over hype.

First, this book is written really well. It is told in first person narrative so you become absorbed in the dysfunctional story that is unfolding before your eyes. The author makes you feel every emotion that the characters are experiencing: heartbeat skip, love, heartbreak, betrayal, despair.

I wanted to throttle the main character Cathy.  I loathed her at first. I was messaging a friend while reading this book, and noticed that most of my messages were really hateful regarding Cathy for a good portion of the story. Typically hating and being annoyed by the main character's behavior, would ruin a book for me. This book is the EXCEPTION. Cathy is an anti-heroine, and it feels as if you are reading a guy's POV at times. You are just watching this unrelatable behavior and trying to understand it, if you can go in with an open mind and give the story a chance.  I had hope that she would get a grip on her depression and have a great realization, so I kept reading.

Cathy's coping mechanism in this book is so incredibly similar to a drug addiction. Whenever something stressful happens to her, she runs to numb her pain. It feels as if you are watching someone with a heroin addiction, but instead, the drug of choice is sex. I'll admit, that when I hear about sex addictions in the media, I roll my eyes. But this book let me see that it isn't all that improbable. Not excusable, healthy, or glorified, but possible.

Ben, the husband, the man that she has been with for 11 years and has this passionate, instant connection with, is THE PERFECT GUY. I was totally in love with him and so incredibly pissed at the way Cathy was treating him at times. This is where the author really shows her genius. So, even though I was rooting for the husband and yelling at Cathy to not be tempted by the young, hot, cocky Arsen,  I could understand Arsen also. It would have been easy to be black and white about the characters and their relationships, but the author knew how to bring out the shades grey that exist in real life.

Arsen, the third part to the love triangle, is despised by many readers. I didn't feel bad for him, UNTIL the second half of the book. I just saw him for what he was. A twenty four year old guy who didn't realize that HE, was in fact the one, who was playing with fire. The author shows that a marriage is a force to be reckoned with, and years of memories can not be wiped clean. As an outsider, he may have won a battle, but has he won the war? He can be a crude villain at times, but toward the end you may feel a twinge of sympathy for him.

The author really knew how to throw in a scene, or small moment, that JUST BREAKS YOUR HEART. The book is RAW, EMOTIONAL, DYSFUNCTIONAL, HEART BREAKING, and VERY EROTIC.

If you don't mind an angsty ride and are possibly in a book rut, this one will wake you up. The book isn't perfect. There were things that drove me a little nuts. Like for instance, wallowing and self pity are unbecoming and annoying for me to read about. However, the book works as a whole and had a real uniqueness to it that made it really stand out for me.

Oh, and the epilogue! It's an insane epilogue. Wait for it.

This story has really seared me. I doubt that I'll be able to forget it.

***edited: I couldn't get this story out of my mind and went back and reread my favorite tearjerker moments last night. I ONLY have the desire to reread my  favorite books. WOW. I think I love this book even more. This book will haunt you in the best way. Complete emotional experience***